Top ten reasons for how i'm messing my life up so spectaculy ! :(

1.Read my other blog

2.I got with a skank boy again, thought i would have learnt after my ex.Guess not!

3.Am a crap friend, cos dont know wether im coming or going.

4.i think im probably an alkie.

5.I feel a complete mess, read my other blog some more. Ditto door scenario.

6.My family dont want anything to do with me, fairplay, i dont want to know then either, but i am so lonely, like all the time.But on the other hand, it get all stresses out with anyone other than my bestest friends.

7.I'm messing college up, cos i cant go in. This is a combination of being piss poor, and feeling lower than low.and i dont just mean 'bit fed up'.

8.STILL dont know what to do with my life, and if i dont get my UCAS done pronto il be even more screwed. But i really dont know what to do, i just know i need to do something.

9.why cant i find a boy who isnt a complete arse, just for once?

10.Im 25.and im about as rich as a bolivian peasant.this depresses me.a lot. And yes, i except my doc is right i do need a break, but seriously, how is anyone supposed to live on like a fiver a week, plus buy proper food to recover from ED?!

Ok i thought of more than 10...

11. Am going to lose my beautiful flat, because stupid bollocking housing benefit rate has changed.IM NOT SKANKING OFF THE STATE-i have paid my tax long enough to be claimimg some back while im ill, but why have they just slashed all the rates IN HALF!! Getting my house was the most amazing thing, and now im going to fucking lose it.

12. I'm just a bit crap really

13. I spend half my life at the doctors, or on the phone to freaking out of hours service.sweet.

14.Read my other blog again

think that about sums it up.

xxx

ha!i really do write a load of old rubbish:)

i think the title says it all!
today, i have to say, was mostly spent in bed:p i think my glands are about 4 times the size they should be, so i dont hold out much hope for emerging from my duvet anytime soon!yes, i know im being pathetic, but also feel like having a bit of a break from the world right now-a mental health day or two!
i started making some pretty bracelets today, and the silly elastic snapped, so now keep finding little seed beads in my bed, the little blighters.
also managed to draw out a pattern for a dress i want to make, now just have to try and find the right fabric, im quite excited about this one, havnt made a dress for a while now.
also am thinking its time to start knitting me a scarf, might try and be a bit more ambitious this year,but will prob stick to the nautical theme ive had going on for a while now. i made a shocking discovery today...was looking through my clothes, and realised there was hardly anything pink anymore!however did this happen?!?!its not right, must be rectified atearliest possible opportunity, or will be forced to wear fairy costume to compensate!!

bedtime:p
back into my nest i go!

xxx

i dont feeeel welllll:(

im sulking, cos my throat is so sore cannot bear to swallow/talk/breathe etc etc

im not good at being ill, and especially not when have so much uni work to get done!!

on the plus side, i now have a legitimate reason to skip group tonight!!

xxx

good and proper done in!

im sooo tired. I wouldnt mind if there was an actual reason for this knackered-ness, but alas, i think im just lazy:p
A whole week of no uni, and i have done nothing constructive..ie any work, however have been up to a fair amount of mischief, and been mega stressed with docs appointments/hospital etc

And now i would like a week in bed to make up for this, thanks very much!

too tired to write anything tha will make any actual sense :p

xxx

somehow i thought a nervous breakdown would be more glamorous than this!

Ok-im not taking the mick-read my other blog, but seriously, surely this conjours up images of sofa's, duvets, an endless supply of kinder beuonos and kettle chips, and the odd bottle of wine or six, whilst watching lots of daytime tv, and only leaving the comfort of your duvet for the odd toilet break. All in all, a break from life, and a rather relaxing one at that...this is the stuff daydreams are made of.FACT.
Having a nervous breakdown...not so much. Ok, so im kinda joking, but i do feel seriously at breaking point at the mo...and yesterday i got to the omg i am never leaving my house/bed again/cant cope sort of scenario.and it was very messy, involving a lot of snot and tears.And a couple of very worried friends.and a few phonecalls to various out of hours services. and i still feel a mess, and you know what-well if you want my advice, daytime tv is rubbish anyway, its a surefire way to get a one way ticket to springfields, and it just aint glamorous.
im not taking the piss.im just trying to see if theres a funny side to this.and i think im failing miserably.
FUNTIMES

xxx

Meh

MEH...am all out of sorts today, need to sort my life out (or preferably, someone else tell me how to do this?!please!). Ive got so many big decisions to make and i dunno what to do.
ANd while we are at it , why are bloody boys sooo rubbish.like i said, meh.
Ok, so heres my ideal world scenario...juts humour me , ok? Im still 25, but im already a qualified physio, and I work in a hosp, but not in outpatients, in neuro or something. Ive got a lovely boyfriend(who, if he isnt Caleb from kings of leon, is at least either russian, or ginger.dont ask) and we live in a lovely house. Ive got a boxer dog called bailey, or maybe ruby, who i have just let out in to the orchard, where i keep my ponies, at the back of house. Im not rich, but im not poor, and im having a good time:)
Is it really that much to ask!!ok, daydream over, i could go on for hours. and to be fair, i HAVE got an amazing flat, which i love.
I just cant really understand how i managed to end up in cornwall, cos seriouslyits like a different country to where im from...south london lol.
its like i woke up one day and realised id missed about about 4 years of my life.
And i miss my best friend, who moved away, and all the mad adventures we got up to. Everyones changing and moving on, and its just reminding me ive wasted a big chunk of my life.
God, im in a good mood today, right?!:p

anyway, whats the famous last words donnie?...its alright tho...cos im having a good time!:P

suggestions on a postcard please

xxx